Man Utd
Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?
A: Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Q: How many Man U fans does it take to pave up a driveway?
A: Depends how thin you slice them.
Q: What do Manchester fans use as birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.
Chelsea
Q. Why do Chelsea fans whistle whilst sitting on the toilet?
A. So they know which end to wipe!
Q: What's the difference between a Chelsea supporter and an Onion?
A: No one cries when you chop up a Chelsea fan!
Q: What do Chelsea keepers and SInger Michael Michael Jackson both have in common?
A: Both wear gloves for no apparent reason.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Chelsea Fan with a pig?
A: I don't know, there are some things a pig just won't do.
Arsenal
Q: What is the difference between Arsenal and a cup of tea?
A: The tea stays in the cup longer!
Q: Why did God make Arsenal supporters smelly?
A: So blind people could laugh at them too!
Q: What do you say to a Gunners supporter with a good looking bird on his arm?
A: Nice tattoo
Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan that does well on an IQ test?
A: A cheat.
Q: Why do housewives love Arsenal?
A: Because they stay on top for ages and come second!
Liverpool
10. Rafael Benitez: "Our new Winger cost five million. I call him our wonder player"
Sir Alex Ferguson: "Why's that?"
Rafael Benitez: " Every time he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!"
Q: What ship has never docked at Liverpool?
A: The Premiership!
Q. What is the difference between a battery and an Scouser?
A. A battery has a positive side.
1. (everyone's favorite) A man arrives at the gates of heaven, where St. Peter greets him and says: "Before I can let you enter I must ask you what you have done in your life that was particularly good."
The man racks his brains for a few minutes and then admits to St Peter that he hasn't done anything particularly good in his life.
"Well," says St Peter, "have you done anything particularly brave in your life?"
"Yes, I have," replies the man proudly.
St Peter asks the man to give an account of his bravery.
So the man explains, "I was refereeing this important match between Liverpool and Manchester United at Anfield. The score was 0-0 and there was only one more minute of play to go in the second half when I awarded a penalty against Liverpool at the Kop end."
"Yes," responded St Peter, "I agree that was a real act of bravery. Can you perhaps tell me when this took place?"
"Certainly," the man replied, "about three minutes ago."
 |
HOME
· Paving driveway
· Resin bonding
· Paving companies in England, UK
· Driveway paving related articles and questions
|
