Ok, Before you start to read any of these, don't make stupid, nasty comments...these jokes have been posted just for a little laugh, so enjoy!!!
Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Arsenal Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
........
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A: Shoot the Arsenal Fan. Twice!!!
2) Two men are fishing on a river bank in a remote area of the River Thames on a Saturday afternoon miles away from any radio or tv.
Suddenly one man turns to the other and says "The Gunners have lost again."
The other man was flabbergasted and said "how in the name of god do you know that?"
The other man replied "It's quarter to five."
3) How did you enjoy your holiday in Israel?'
'Smashing!'
&# 039;Did you visit the Wailing Wall?'
'Yes - but I couldn't get anyway near it for the Arsenal supporters!'
TIME FOR CHELSEA JOKESS!! :P
Two blokes were walking through a cemetery when they happened upon a tombstone that read:
"Here lies John Sweeney, a good man and a Chelsea fan."
So, one of them asked the other: "When the hell did they start putting two people in one grave?"
2) Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon?
A: A Problem.
Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: An even bigger problem.
Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: Problem solved
NOW...LIVERPOOOOOLLLL!!! =)
Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an intelligent Liverpool supporter and an old drunk are walking down the street together when simultaneously they each spot a fifty quid note. Who gets it?
A: The old drunk, of course - the other 3 are mythical creatures.
Rafael Benitez: "Our new Winger cost five million. I call him our wonder player"
Sir Alex Ferguson: "Why's that?"
Rafael Benitez: "Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!
And now....i don't know why im doing this but just to be fair to everyone else....MANUTD JOKES!
Q: How many Man U fans does it take to pave up a driveway?
A: Depends how thin you slice them.
Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?
A: Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
and a few others!
Fire brigade phones Bobby Robson in the early hours of Sunday morning...
"Sir Bobby, St James Park is on fire!"
"The cups man! Save the cups!" replies Sir Bobby.
"Well...the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."
Q: Why do so many housewives love newcastle?
A: Cos they stay on top for ages and then come second.
11. A little boy took his parents to court because he did not want to live with them anymore. The honored judge said to him "So why don't you want to live with your dad?"
"Because he beats me" said the little boy.
"Why don't you want to live with your mum then?" asked the judge.
Because she beats me aswell.
"Oh" said the judge "Well who would you like to live with then?"
The little boy replied" I would like to live with Southampton FC, because they don't beat anyone!!"
15. Q: What tea do footballers drink?
A. PenalTea!
27. A Sunderland supporter goes to his doctor to find out what's wrong with him.
"Your problem is you're fat, "says the doctor.
"I'd like a second opinion" responds the man.
"OK, you're ugly too" replies the doctor.
....hope you liked them, LOL!
Mis m: Yes i do...got a problem with that?
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